The curious case of :) :( :D :P :$ and the likes.

This is the age of emoticons. Those small yellow coloured creatures abused on every possible media platform. They smile :), if you want them to; They frown :(, if you want them to; they Asaram :*, if he wants them to; or nothing like the trademark Manmohan :|.

(Image: Wikipedia)

Imagine a conversation between a few distinguished people:

Manmohan Singh: 😐

Arnab: Sir, India wants an answer.

MM: 😐

Arnab: Sirrrrrr!!! :@

MM: 😐

Sonia: ❤ 😀  :*

Rahul: Arnab, 😛 😛

Pranab Mukherjee, Chidambaram, Antony etc: (Y) Superlikes!!

I have nothing against emoticons. In fact, I love them! It makes ending conversations easier, and also if you have nothing to say, choose any emoticon or simply type a :), and you’re done.

What annoys me is the emoticon overkill. Does over-using them make you an eligible replacement for Govinda? Does adding a :* (multiplied by the number of awwwwws in the picture) make you feel Emran Hashmi-ish?  Does updating a status on any platform with emoticons actually help you convey that feeling for you? I feel all it does is makes you feel that you’re following the generally accepted convention of using them even if it’s not needed. At all.

Technology is good, it always is. But it’s over-use that is harmful.

When was the last time you laughed out as loud as you pretend to through these characters? When was the last time you actually stuck out a tongue at someone, playfully? When was the last time you laughed so hard with a friend that you actually had tears in your eyes? 

Human face is the most beautiful sketchbook ever. So, please don’t refrain from displaying the emotions that you actually feel. 

I’ve seen so many people type so many emoticons on their devices without registering even a small difference on their faces.

Now that all of us have soooo many of :)) with us, let’s give a few to a kind strangers who might have helped you in any way because otherwise if you do so you’re inviting someone to rape you; to a stray animal; to an elderly person whom many of us take for granted and lastly to all small babies, because they smile back and that’s the most beautiful thing, isn’t it? 🙂

Choked.

Disclaimer: This is just an opinion, and doesn’t mean to hurt any religious sentiments.

One of the most loved festivals is here. You love it, I love it, we all do.

Considering the sentiments attached to the festival, I’d rather ask a few questions than post a rant.

Festivals are a beautiful manifestation of a number of things: emotions, human spirit, brotherhood amongst other things.
The result generally is that we feel choked with emotions; but since when did that mean we can choke our most precious natural resource: Water. Apparently, our beloved god has the face of an elephant, an animal which does enjoy the company of water bodies. Do we really think He would be pleased with us for doing this?

Image courtesy: Google.

Also, we feel how much of a difference a small idol could make? They say in Hindi “Boond boond ghada bhare” (A vessel is filled drop by drop); Ironically we are exploiting the water bodies, drop by drop.

I’m no environmentalist and so won’t comment like one, but I’ve had this question since a long time: Do we ever think about the kind of effect the chemicals and paints have on the marine ecosystem? Talk about oil spill and pollution? Let’s have some reality check. Also painful is the condition that a lot of idols end up being in: washing off to the shores, broken parts, etc. Isn’t that indirectly hurting the very sentiments that are attached to the idol?

Image courtesy: Google

I have nothing, absolutely nothing with the celebration. But there are some environment-friendly ways of doing so. A lot of them are already doing it, through different ways, respect for them. I wish I could do something like that, had plans, didn’t materialise. But as they say, there’s always a next time…

I simply wish that festivals go beyond idols, because idols are created when people come together and truly feel the sentiments and they celebrate all the things for which started celebrating festivals in the first place.

Here’s wishing everyone a happy festive season. Apologies if this post has offended anyone.

Stay blessed.

Dummy’s guide to being a responsible citizen

Hey all the irresponsible citizens out there,

I’m writing this post out of all the rage I’ve been feeling about the people from your tribe. But never mind, I’m very responsible, so to make things better for you guys, here is a guide to being a responsible citizen, I’d like to call it:

 

                               

            A dummy’s guide to being responsible, or being me.   (Photo courtesy: Google)        

1. The most important tool to being a super-responsible citizen: Read the worst-possible news you can every morning, sigh and share your expert opinion on all matters that concern the the dog next door more than anyone else. Doesn’t India want to know everything?? Oh, coming to dogs, have you hit a stray with a stone yet? No? Seriously? You sure you want to live on this planet any more? 

2. Travel ticket-less, abuse natural resources, public places; Dudes we pay bribes regularly and  taxes once in a while, need we pay more?

3. Buy a smart phone worth 35k; How else do you expect yourself to represent our country in Subway Surfers/Temple run? Please don’t spare money for donations for any NGO’s, they are nothing but black-money stashing playgrounds for foreigners and babus.

4. Eat at fancy restaurants; And also make sure the food at your lavish wedding is disposed well. You’re a responsible citizen, and so have to look after your own pet-pooja first, baaki sab dooja. It’s very simple, just ignore all those starving bodies around you, they’re simply trying to ape Kareena Kapoor’s size zero.

5. Raise alarm when foreign exchange rises; take your spouse gold shopping. But yeah, Dollar rises! WTH!!

6. Like, re-tweet and share all the causes you want to promote; you’ve done your share of work. Please don’t volunteer for any ground work projects, but yeah if you want a few check-ins, tags on social networking website, here’s a way to do that: Go to FabIndia, buy a white kurta and click a selfie: And Voila! Social activist!

7. Celebrate festivals in an eco-friendly manner; rather than buying 10 small idols let’s buy a huge one for the entire building. Hah! talk about being environment friendly. *throws all the decorative items in the nearest water body*

8. Don’t open your bags at public places where the security guards have to try and act that they are checking for explosives. Public transport more convenient to carry them, no? If you are unsuccessful at doing that then please, please contact one of the Babas who guarantee that no one can cross their work.

9. Get drunk, abuse; but this can be done without getting caught only if you’re married because then you own spouses or if you’re a juvenile.  Also now that you’re drunk already, please take out your car, there are people out there on the streets, waiting to be crushed. 

10. Share this with your other irresponsible friends.

Here’s hoping these help everyone. I’ll edit this or maybe write a new post if get to learn any new gyaan.

Until then, keep spitting, peeing, coughing in public places and make yourselves at home.

Irresponsibly yours,

Responsible citizen.